Frankly, I have no freaking clue why I'm in Higher Mother Tongue. Yes, it might have a great deal to do with my luck, but surely, I'm not cut out to be one of the elites with excellent command of the vast chinese language. Today's EOY exam would definitely cause me to be shortlisted as one of the failures... and my dear mummy will kill me, hopefully not literally, for even though I have morbid thoughts almost all the time, there are still a lot of things unaccomplished. Maybe writing a good novel, and having an ultracute gay guy as a best friend. Yes, I'm sick. These are my current life priorities. So what if I never find a boyfriend? As long as I can count on my cute gay guy, I can have plenty of juicy details. And here, I show my bimbo and shallow alter ego. Apparently, I'm not only sick, but also pathetic and shameless. Fine, moving on, before I freak out any homophobes and little kiddies. You don't want the kids to be scarred for life, do you? [Personally, I don't mind. Innocent kids do grow up to become sick freaks, like me. What a joy...]

Yes, as I digress further, the main point is that I totally suck at HCL. And yeah, I'm pretty sure Mdm Yong knows that fact, and is sitting at her desk, rubbing her hands together like a cheesy villain, waiting to strike my name off the HCL list. Hooray, I say. The exam was tough. Easily put, simple and clean language. It was terrible, a complete disaster, a bloody catastrophe, and any other horrifying things you want to add on.

Mdm Yong and her colleague, [cough.crony.cough] Ms Yeo, if I'm not wrong, as she teaches chinese, I'm not too sure what her surname translates to in English. So yeah. By the way, am I being biased when I typed 'English' with a capital 'E', yet for chinese, it was with a lowercase 'c'? If so, it was done unconsciously. Which Freud would probably say something about my hidden desires, non-sexual and perhaps if he could, sexual too. Though I can't read anything into it too deeply...

The reason why I was able to qualify for the HCL subject was due to my excellent memory at memorizing, which means I could pass my spelling with ease, and my talent at copying. Trust me, the comprehensions we get in primary schools requires not much thinking skills, only how much you re willing to copy for the results. And since copying was a skill we were trained from young, [we were always forced to copy difficult words, to train our vocabulary, or so they say.] I must say I did quite well. So yeah, I got my distinction, and then I got the subject. And it was not because I have a great love for the language, or because I find the history overly fascinating, it was because of the benefits. By just passing HCL, you get to knock off 2 points from your 'O' level score, you get to drop mandarin forever in JC, and if you're really good at it, you can even replace HCl with English. Not that my Chinese is better then my English of course. Note how much I can expressed myself in English, then divide this ability by a hundred times, you get my Chinese standard. Practically non-existent.

No, it isn't the pessimism getting me down; I've taken Prozac to ward depression off for now. It's entirely the truth. With some embellished facts, I think... primary school chinese wasn't that terrible... but only by a little.

Labels: school life