Yet another crackfic to grace this blog, because school was damn boring, with physics and maths and social studies. Everything that is... bleagh. Anyway, Faza and I collaborated yet again and came up with this. Okay, fine there were more, but I was too lazy to type those long ones, this is the shortest, at 2 page. Faza: blue. Mine: green.
WARNINGS: Too many fcuks. crack!fic. gayness. bestiality. that's all I think... kiddies, please don't sue us when you're traumatized and all. Thank you. This was all done for pure humor and to alleviate boredom during dull lessons. We don't own anyone you recognize here.

It was a bright sunny day and Harry Potter woke up feeling... [drum roll] EVIL!
So it turned stormy.
Harry Potter may be the Boy-Who-Lived, but he's no weather mage!
I say he is. He has a power... that no one can ever emulate!
Whatever, but Harry was feeling EVIL! What can happen? ZOMG!!!1 [actually I have no clue what ZOMG stands for, haha.]
So he decided to pour coffee into his mom's - wait a minute! He doesn't have a mom!
So he stomped down to the Great Hall and started tormenting Ron who was eating his breakfast.
"Weasley is our king. He can't catch a thing!" Harry sang spitefully. [why spitefully?]
Hermione slapped Harry on the arm, "That's mean! And why are you using Malfoy's song?"
"Because Malfoy's my bitch!" Harry retorted. [You wish, Potter, you wish!]
Draco Malfoy stalked towards Harry, "Potter! I am NO ONE's bitch!" [yes, I adore Draco, don't you know?]
"Fuck you! I treated you like my dog!" Harry yelled. [and this is where we went crazy]
"I fucked you!" Malfoy retorted.
"No, I fucked YOU!"
"Oh FUCK OFF!" Malfoy rolled his eyes and the sexual tension in the air increased.
"Oh fuck this shit!" Hermione exclaimed and sat down. [and that was random...]
The two boys turned to her, "Shut the FUCK up!" they yelled in unison.
"Fuck you all!" Ron shouted, "I wanna fuck all of you!" [this is official; we have lost our sanity! Or rather, Faza.]
"Get the fuck away from me!" Draco scowled, "I don't want your weasel germs on me!"
"Fuck you! Weasels rule!" Fred and George suddenly appeared, "Draco can fuck cats." [No, I don't get that...]
"You should know, don't you? I bet you fucked Mrs Norris before!" Harry snapped, still feeling evil. [erm, didn't have anything to write, and in order to go with the flow... sorry for the hideous mental images]
THEY ARE ALL EVIL!
Severus Snape, resident Potions Master and sometimes bat, descended on them, sneering, "Dentention! For all you fuckers!"
"FUCK YOU!!" I need to have fucking Quidditch practice!" Fred bellowed, "FUCK!"
Dumbledore came forward, eyes twinkling like mad, "If you all don't listen to Prof Snape, you can all fuck off."
"Whaddaya mean? You wanna fuck us, old man?" Malfoy drawled. [As if Malfoys speak like that]
"I meant that you will all be expelled!" the Headmaster threatened, eyes still twinkling.
"Yo man, I ain't gonna be expelled, " George began but Harry snapped, "Don't rap, white boy!" [... random]
"All of you! Shut the fuck up!" Hermione screamed, "SILENCIO!" she cursed everyone.
And everyone started mouthing the words, 'fuck' at her.
She laughed madly, "Never mess with me! Girl Power!" [we are officially insane!]
Silenced, Harry walked away and went to the lake where he was joined by Ginny.
"Harry!" Ginny squealed. "I love you. I luv you. iwuvu. ♥♥♥ "
Harry gave Ginny a deadpanned look and ignored her. Then he jumped into the lake and met Moaning Myrtle. [probably got scared of Ginny]
"Harry! I love you soooo much!" Moaning Myrtle started. Harry swam away, disgusted. "Harry? The Giant Squid is over there!"
Harry saw the red eyes of the squid before he was eaten by the squid. He found himself in the squid's stomach which looked like a comfy living room.
HARRY POTTER WAS DOOMED. THE WIZARDING WORLD WAS DOOMED!!!1
While the wizarding world was filled with chaos, Harry sat comfortably in the squid, watching squid porn on squid tv and tickled the squid so that it would open its mouth and Harry could have a shower. [Faza, squid porn is gross... >.<]
Yes, this was the life. Fuck Voldie. Fuck Dumble. Fuck the wizarding world. Harry Potter was finished with the fucking war.

fuckedit. THE END.

Labels: random, writing