Okay, so I'm interested in the CAP thing that apparently NUS is hosting. But the thing is, where the hell am I going to build up a decent looking portfolio?! My usual writing are... gay-orientated stories that are in no way insightful or deep. They are just figments of my twisted imagination. And my poetry are usually those angst-ridden stuff that are written on a whim with no regards to any literary techniques. They just look good on screen and contribute to nothing except show how shallow I am. Damn it.

Labels: musings, random

[1] PLUSHIES from BELLZ. My favourite favourite favourite non-emo but is oh-so-emo-looking deviantartist. I seriously heart him. I <3 him. Really. Just like the many thousands of people who love him too.

[2] PAID ACCOUNT at LIVEJOURNAL. I'm still sort of debating over the username issue.
Wondering if I should pick mytuesdayvengeance, tuesdaystorms, nobodyeveris, or are these too emo-ish? Wouldn't want to give people the wrong impression after all.

[3] JUST ME perfume by PARIS HILTON. Surprise, surprise. Of all celebrities and their perfume lines, I picked hers. But it's actually quite pretty and smells very sweet, like fruits and well... cotton candy. Reminds me of my childhood, haha, nah. It smells good.

[4] CLUTCH BAG by GUESS. Retailing at a whooping price of $140, rounded up. Well. It is branded after all. But it's really pretty. Too bad I can't afford it...

[5] New HEADPHONES, preferably by APPLE. Mine is really old looking now. And Atiqah keeps urging me to get a new pair. So buy them for me?

[6] COSMETICS from M.A.C. Thanks to iCiNG, I now adore this brand even though I do not own anything from it. See how easily influenced I am?! >.> Advertisers love people like me. Haha.

[7] CLOTHES and more CLOTHES. Considering the fact that I just performed wardrobe taming recently, aka, throwing 75% of my clothes away... I need clothes. ASAP. Or you will end up seeing my rewear the same freaking thing over and over again. Which is just... ugly. Really.

[8] New HANDPHONE. Preferably from NOKIA or SONY ERICSSON. My brother promised to buy me a new phone, with the condition being that I get 10 points and less for O Levels. Which is sort of hard to achieve now. Damn. Should have bargained a bit more. Blah.

[9] Buy new BOOKS. I have fallen in love with tons and tons of new books ever since that little trip to BORDERS with Kim. So many books that I want to buy, even though I still have complete the books that are lying about in my house...

[10] A FIXED COMPUTER. Yeah, preferably something UPGRADED and DURABLE. My computer seems to have this urge to crash at least twice a year. It's... an irritating quirk that wastes frankly too much of my money. And the fact that I have over 7000 songs and a few hundred pictures and half-written pictures and scanlated mangas make my computer very very very valuable to me.

Labels: musings, random

Should I switch to Livejournal permanently? After all, I'm involved in various communities, and have some friends over there which I read almost religiously. As compared, Blogger has several flaws, and frankly, I'm quite pissed off when it inadvertently eats my posts which is seriously irritating because I had spent time and effort typing whatever that runs through my mind. And because my mind's very unorganized and messy and is a chronic ADD sufferer, it's hard for me to retype whatever that has been lost thanks to Blogger. Seriously. And I hate it whenever I try to publish a post, it tells me that my request cannot be processed. I'm like WTH? How many bloody times must I click before you can publish the damn post already? and there are times when it messes up my editing. I'm not overly sure whether this is or isn't my fault. But the fact remains that Blogger allows these sorts of mistakes to occur. Hence... not a very pleased user here.

The only thing remaining is to think of a good username for my new LJ. After all, ravenxeve is used specially for writing purposes. Not that it has been updated lately. Because I'm too lazy to actually write even though plot bunnies in the form of my harem has been wandering in and out of my mind.

Labels: musings

Singapore, no matter how much it tries to promote itself as a clean and green city, is a city of skyscrapers, buildings and apartments. What environment? You mean that row of trees that one passes by every day to get to work or school? or the 'famous' Bukit Timah Hill, highest peak in Singapore? We have little in terms of forests and swamps and mountains, well, duh, since we are living in an island.

So, what exactly can we do to 'save' the environment? As you know, I'm a damn lazy person, and asking me to do drastic stuff would be like asking a monk to eat meat. [ lousy analogy, I know. Bear with it.] So yeah, just one simple thing that we have all learned before:
Reduce, Reuse and Recycle

Reduce: is to bring down, as in extent, amount, or degree; diminish. There's actually so much that we can do. For reducing, we can simply cut down on the wastage of resources, like switch off various appliances when not in use. You might think that this isn't a lot, this wouldn't really make a great impact, but if everyone does it, wouldn't it amass to something large? Reduce on the usage of plastic bags, instead, carry your own tote when going out to shop. Plastics are harmful to the environment as it is non-biodegradable. Or if you really have to use plastic bags, try cramming everything into one bag. Cars, although not as pollutive as before, can also add to pollution as they give out carbon dioxide, which is a greenhouse gas that can lead to global warming, [this is assuming that your car has a catalytic converter] so taking public transport would be better. I mean, Singapore is so small, from the east to the west, it's only an hour long journey by train. Probably shorter if you take the bus, so why bother driving? Not only will it help the environment, you get to cut down on expenses of upkeeping a car.

Reuse: is to use again, especially after salvaging or special treatment or processing. We're sort of a throw-away society. As in, as soon as something is used up, we'll just throw it away and get something new. But do you think about whether the object can be reused in any form? As scrap paper for you to do brief calculations, used envelopes to keep some documents, cardboard boxes to store your stuff, turn unwanted cds into decorations? There's so much that we can do, it just depends on us, whether we want to do it or not.

Recycle: is to treat or process (used or waste materials) so as to make suitable for reuse Isn't this like the easiest? You don't even have to recycle the stuff yourself, you just need to dump them into the bins which will then be sent for recycling. What I don't get is why people don't even bother to do something so simple. Every week, we're given a large green plastic bag, which is supposed to be collecting empty bottles, old clothes, unwanted papers, etc, anything that can be recycled. Put it outside your apartment and someone will go around collecting them. It's not even troublesome, but yet, very few people do it.

Can we make a difference? I hope so, for the sake of our environment. Seriously, I want my future generations, be it my children [as if] or my relatives' children, or whatever, I want them to be able to enjoy all the wonderful sceneries that we have, the [relatively] fresh air that we breathe in, clean water to drink, the various animals that we see. I think that it would be unfair to deprive them of all these that make our world a beautiful place.

Saving the environment isn't much. Not when everyone puts in a little effort to make it great.

cross-posted to my writing journal

Labels: freetalk, musings

Okay... so I finished the entire season one of Heroes, but there's still no real conclusion! Peter won't die, since he has Claire's powers, but what about Nathan? He might die >.< Overall, the plot was pretty alright, nothing too unexpected, but the characters were quite nicely well developed. The villains are not exactly true villains, but are only played by fate. [erm, I'm making no sense here.]

I am way jealous of Peter's abilities, he's just so lucky to be able to have all those powers. Of course, powers come with a price too. Seriously, he worries too much. If he had left the city, and never met Ted, he wouldn't have been the cause of the explosion. If Ted was like shipped away to some far off place, then Sylar wouldn't have found him and took his powers. >.> So... why did everyone just have to make it so darn complicated?

Claire annoys me sometimes, when she tries so hard to be normal, but... fine, she has her reasons. I used to dislike her surrogate father, Noah Bennet, but he's alright now. He was kind of creepy in the first few episodes. Anyway, Claire's powers are really useful, imagine, not getting hurt, and I bet she won't age too. Since she didn't look too different from the episode of 5 Years Gone.

Nathan needs to get a backbone 90% of the time, he's always listening to his mother, who is such a sneaky underhanded person, and getting coerced by Linderman, who can't be that bad since he healed Heidi. But seriously, Nathan is like led around by others until the end, where he finally takes Claire's advice. Hopefully, he won't die, having exploded with Peter. [By the way, they kind of have some incesty relationship going on or something...]

Hiro is probably the character that changes the most, from a shy, awkward guy, to someone who can properly wields a sword and not run from destiny. Well, this time, he manages to use his powers properly, saved Ando from death, distracted Sylar and injured him so that he won't interfere with the explosion thing. He's also quite the comic relief, [flying man!! Lol] And also the most optimistic person who truly wants to do good. Yup, the stereotype comic book hero.

Sylar is a schizo. He's got to be; he's all scary and cool and bad ass when he's in control and using his powers for nefarious goals. But whip out the glasses and argyle shirts, he's the insecure and nerdy Gabriel Gray. Honestly, what is his true ability? Or is he just a normal human that merely steals powers from others? Mohinder shouldn't have tried to call the police when Sylar contacted him, he should have tried to help him, and gain his trust. Ah well.

Mohinder... I don't know, he's a little extra sometimes. But he helped save Molly, the adorable little girl. >.< He's powerless, true, but I guess he has his uses, except that now with Molly, he's not all that important anymore.

Parkman, Matthew to some, is pretty alright overall, just that I seriously disliked him in the episode of 5 Years Gone. Well, a pity the Haitian was killed... he was, right? Unless Mohinder got all sentimental or something.

Nikki, D.L and Micah are all just being used by Linderman, poor family, screwed up thanks to one old guy. Nikki's powers aren't overly useful, and Jessica... is she a MPD persona, or does Jessica has her own powers that when she died, she possessed Nikki instead and survive? Micah's abilities to communicate with machines... imagine all the money I could have. Heh.

Issac's a little pitiful, but well, he had to die, the bad thing was that he should have killed himself, like Eden, so that Sylar couldn't have taken his powers, and wouldn't be able to paint the future. But his heart's in the right place, and he seems to be quite at ease with the notion of death. Well, he's got to, since he already knew it.

the future isn't set in stone... true, but judging from Hiro's experiences, it kind of does, in the case of Charlie. One thing that bothers me, however, is that Hiro only stabbed Sylar because he saw it in the comic book. If Issac did not draw that scene, does that mean that Hiro wouldn't have stabbed him and the future will change? How much of the future is really the future, and for those who glimpse the future, is that the only future?

ne, kami-sama, atashi wa unmei wa nani?

Labels: musings, random

I think I've lost sight of myself.
Or maybe I never did know myself in the first place.
Too many masks to wear and now,
the reflection is blurry with unshed tears.


I think I hate it the most when people say that they can't stand others that act/behave in a certain manner. To wear some sort of a mask, to behave in a particular manner, however flimsy the mask, however similar the behavior, isn't that the price we pay for society? Doesn't social graces expect us to act in a certain way in order not to embarrass ourselves and others?

People also put on masks because they don't want to reveal everything to just everyone. Aren't there aspects of your personality that you wouldn't show to random strangers? Don't you treat different people differently? It's like, you wouldn't treat your family the same way you treat people on the streets, right? The masks that one wears show how much trust they have in others. It's just a form of self protection, to be wary of others.

Personally, I wear many masks, act differently around different people, but it all boils down to the fact that I'm still who I am, snarky and sarcastic and mean and all that crap. I just show different aspects of my personality because after all, I'm a living human being and not some two dimensional character. I think the most important thing is to not lose the you behind the mask, because at the end of the day, fuck society and all that, the world can hang itself for all I care, I just want to be who I was, who I am, and who I will be.

Labels: life, musings, random

... I feel... unaccomplished. I'm almost 16, but there seems to be nothing that I excel in. I write and write and write, but what has come out of it? I have been playing the piano for like a decade already, but what has come out of it? I've been in school for like more than 10 years, but what has come out of it? Nothing. That's just what it is.

For school, I'm an average student, merely passing and sometimes failing my various boring subjects. In fact I'm really terrible at sciences and maths. I'm not good at sports or computers or anything. Musically, my piano skills are at best, mediocre, and there's nothing spectacular about my voice. On visual arts, my drawings at like retarded and boring. The stuff that I write are always incomplete and just not spectacular. I'm not pretty, so I can't even get into an industry that cares about looks. I can't cook or do household chores properly, without making a big mess.

My personality is like lacking, and too snarky, most of the time, I think I piss off people easily without even putting in effort. I don't say what I really think, putting a facade just to fit in or to please the people I'm with. I've plenty of idiosyncrasies and quirks that would probably irritate people. I feel like such a failure of 16 years... so unaccomplished, so useless.

Labels: mood, musings

I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all,
That's all

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter night
That's all,
That's all.

There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.
~ Michael Buble, That's All.

A pretty nice song, good to listen if you wanna sleep, good if you want a sappy wedding, etc, things that I don't really give a damn about. Sure, love is all well and dandy, except that eternal love? That's pushing it a bit hard, we're not characters in a storybook or something. Time is not stagnant for us, so the concept that you'll love someone, a particular person, forever, or at least until either one of you dies. That's... well it's either very cruel or very tiring, to let someone consume so much of your time and life. I can't do that, allow someone to get so close to me, and believe that they will stay there forever.

Don't know if I got trust issues or something, but perhaps, it's just what I feel about the whole thing myself. I'll die if I have to chain myself to someone else forever. It's just, things change, people change, and they'll walk in and out of your life. How do you know that you made the correct choice? How do you know when the person will just walk out? How do you know if you'll be the one walking out?

I'm quite the fickle person, so I can't see myself agreeing to this song, about liking this one single person forever. I think, of all the emotions, anger is the most useful. Anger can be a big motivator, pushing us beyond our limits because of the anger that we feel for something.

Labels: music/poem, musings

disclaimer: I am not in love, I'm merely commenting on the subject. No, I don't know why I wrote this.

I think that the definition of love is gradually losing its meaning. Frankly, to teenagers who have barely stepped into society and really experience its dregs, love is merely a fairytale, something frivolous, something to brag about, he/she is just someone who can be easily replaced by another person. You might think you love him/her, but just what is love?

Is love just something you can easily sprout of, gush about, dream of? Is love just a word you throw around, and say blindly to a pretty face? Can you say it to the same person a few years from now, when he/she has perhaps changed? Can you give reasons to why you would love him/her without being selfish?

Perhaps, there are people out there who have experienced true love, but they also have experiences that we don't. They have gone through the fire, and came out wiser, unlike most of us teenagers who have been sheltered for years. Love doesn't come just like that, and most definitely not at a easy price. Sacrifices must be made, but in this selfish world, just how much can one sacrifice?

Love doesn't have to be romantic, or even platonic. Just how much are you worth? To your family, your friends, your acquaintances, or even the passerbys that you just met? And similarly, how much are they worth to you? How much can you love your fellow mankind? How much can you love this world? This Earth that we are killing everyday, with our irresponsible ways and actions. How much does that random cat on the street, the moon in the sky, the wind in your hair, the leaves in the wind, just how much is all of that worth, to you? It could be nothing, and also everything. It depends on how much you are able to love these things/events around you.

Love is not something that one can describe/explain in mere words, it's something to be experienced, but at the same time, it's not something that you can just say without understanding it, or even knowing it.

Labels: life, musings

Where dips the rocky highland
Of Sleuth Wood in the lake
There lies a leafy island
Where flapping herons wake
The drowsy water-rats
There we've hid our fairy vats
Full of berries
And of reddest stolen cherries.

Come away, oh human child
To the waters and the wild
With a fairy hand in hand
For the world's more full of weeping
Than you can understand.

Where the wave of moonlight glosses
The dim grey sands with light
By far off furthest Rosses
We foot it all the night
Weaving olden dances
Mingling hands and mingling glances
Till the moon has taken flight
To and fro we leap
And chase the frothy bubbles
While the world is full of troubles
And is anxious in its sleep.

Where the wandering water gushes
From the hills above Glen-Car
In pools among the rushes
That scarce could bathe a star
We seek for slumbering trout
And whispering in their ears
Give them unquiet dreams
Leaning softly out
From ferns that drop their tears
Over the young streams.

Away with us he's going
The solemn-eyed
He'll hear no more the lowing
Of the calves on the warm hillside
Or the kettle on the hob
Sing peace into his breast
Or see the brown mice bob
Round and round the oatmeal chest.

For he comes, the human child
To the waters and the wild
With a fairy hand in hand
For the world's more full of weeping
Than you can understand.


A lovely poem, and a lovely song. The original text is by William Butler Yeats, while Loreena McKennitt has done a wonderful interpretation of it, and her voice is just gorgeous, giving this song a life of its own, and its mystical aura.

Labels: music/poem, musings

Hmm... recently I've been visiting tons of mp3 rotations to get my audio fix, which then caused me to wonder whether I should start my own rotation site. Maybe it could be a part of this blog, or something... but I'm not too sure about it yet, since it seems kind of troublesome to me. Have to design the layout, have to put up the songs, request list, my playlist, and find either a good host for free, or use the crappy filesharing websites that suck big time.

Labels: music/poem, musings

In a world crowded with people, with hundreds going and hundreds coming, I'm beginning to re-think of my position in life. Just what is the point of me being here? Am I just waiting to die, or does fate have a greater plan for me, or am I just destinied to be confused for the rest of my time here?

I'm not talented, nor am I clever, I'm just an average human who tries hard to be above average, but in order to lie convincingly, one must lie to one own self first, and I'm failing. People say my writings are good, but in my eyes, they're so empty, so false, so fake, so wannabe, so cliche. What other talents do I have? Art? I can't even draw properly without a decent reference picture. Music? I'm a borderline failure/pass case. These three things are what I have devoted a great deal of time to, but nothing comes out of it...

In almost every manga/anime, there are various messages. And many include themes like 'To become stronger, believe in your dreams', or 'Never give up' But these aren't real, they have no substance in this harsh society. The most evolved we are, the more competitive we become.

My purpose? I do not know. My goals? I have lost the meaning of my dreams...

If I were to disappear, will you remember me?

Yes, this post has totally no point, because I'm writing it in the middle of the night when everyone's asleep, me included, but here I am, thinking 'deep' thoughts.

Labels: musings

I'm wandering the town all light off
I don't know where I'm leaving for
the muddy rain start to fall on me
and I'm walking down to subway

I can't see all around me
get me out of here
talk to me if someone is in this darkness

I'm out of my head
out of my mind
tell me where I'm what's going on, oh please

something is hiding me off
is this the wall of my heart
~Alive, X Japan [Vanishing Vision]

Labels: musings

Currently, I'm trying my hand at writing Harry Potter fanfiction. =_= Can you believe it? I'm actually writing fanfiction when I have tons of original ideas running through my mind? Damn, must have caught the wizarding craze.

I'm not a big fan of Harry Potter, since I think it's rather unreal. Sure, I believe in magick, but not J.K Rowling's version. I'm a Wiccan. But there are some truths in her works. Darn, she's damn popular, while I can only hope to be so popular as her when I publish my works, be it fantasy, or contemporary fiction.

Labels: musings

Just finished reading today's The New Paper, and currently reflecting on the murder of that China woman. Honestly, the murderer, should be that supervisor guy if I remember correctly, shouldn't just cut her corpse up into pieces. Instead, he should have done the job properly. [now this was suggested by Eva, not me!] He could have minced up her body, and dumped it into the sea for the fishes to devour, and well, there goes the victim, and without the dead body and evidence, case closed.

Or he could use other ways of killing her, less messy, less bloody. Spiral: Suiri no Kizuna has open my mind to quite a few clean ways of murder, not that I feel like trying them out, of course. The Blade Children did get caught by Ayumu in the end.

Second reflection has to do with the nude blogger. Really, why is everyone making such a big fuss about one nude photo? If it's about seeing naked people, well, one can easily get access to such pictures on the internet. Even a simple google search on a harmless topic like 'chick' can dreg up compromising photos. And well, since the picture is of herself, why should we get all riled up? She has the right to do what she wants. It's not as if she put a picture of you, or, like your girlfriend onto the web. No harm done, so do as you will. [Wicca Rede] Not that I support the posting of nude photos on personal blogs, of course, but frankly, I don't think it warrents that much attention.

Labels: musings

The title is probably making you arch an eyebrow in curiosity, so, to save time searching it up, it means 'a feeling of loneliness'. That's how I feel nowadays. You might think it's quite silly for me to feel alone, as I like solitary. Yet, there's something inside that wishes for an equal to talk to. Someone who will understand me, and I can spar with verbally and not get offended. Sure, one might think that I have Eva, who happens to know almost everything about me, but, try as she might [although I doubt she cares], we just can't understand each other. We are too different, and well, she's not very good in English, so we don't really have such verbal matches. Is it really that hard finding someone willing to understand how I feel? How I think? I guess it probably is, since billions of people populate this world, and yet, I can't seem to find a bosom pal.

Ach, my words just seem so melancholic. Somehow, I just feel weird, these thoughts just keep piling up. I guess that it's due to the fact that I have been stuck at home, only going out for school or something. Just like me, to brush everything off.

Labels: musings

Can't go back.
No place to go back to.
Life is lost, flowers fall.
If it's all dream, now wake me up.
If it's all real, just kill me.

I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself
Lost in your eyes

I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Run away from youwithout saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love
- X Japan, Art of Life

Whenever I hear a X Japan song, I'll get too emotional. Sometimes, I'll scream along to the lyrics, even though I don't even understand the japanese words. Sometimes, I'll just find tears in my eyes all of a sudden. And Eva will bug me about being a wimp. Lol. It's weird huh, both of us so close, yet worlds apart.

I feel that what the singer's trying to say flows into me, so I get all weepy or crazy in the blink of an eye. But the songs are really nice, and meaningful, but I think most of those that I heard are filled with angst, and heartbreak. If these are based on personal experiences, then, i would say that they had a hell of a time in their younger days.

Art of Life, a really long song, made my heart feel really achy, and I truly loved it. It's similar to me somehow. As to how it's similar, well, I wouldn't want to say...

Labels: musings

goes the rain... I love the rain. In fact, I have just returned from a glorious time outside, feeling totally crazy! I sang and danced! I even walked bare-footed home! It was a pity I lived so close to my piano teacher's house. Haizz, and there was lightning, and thunder. I would like to stay out longer in the rain. ^^

Well, this is a short post neh? I'll try to write more next time, coz for now, I want to be crazy!

Labels: musings

Life sure is frustrating, isn't it? Recently, a certain classmate spilled her guts[not literally, of course!! Eva thought that I cut her apart... what a sadistic person she is...] to me, for some absurb reason. I am one of the most self-centred person I have ever known...

She is very unhappy about her life. She knows her 'friends' are lying to her and harbour nasty thoughts about her. She calls them 'liars', 'hypocrites' and the list goes on.

But aren't all humans like that? You just have to find something in them that makes up for their faults. Everyone is flawed, there's no one perfect, for that is how God created us. If there were someone perfect living in this world, it would be rather scary. Imagine what the person can do.

And maybe, who knows, the person with all the problems is you, not them. Or you could leave them, for different people have different upbringing, different lifestyles. What may be acceptble for them, might not be acceptable for you and vice versa.

Life isn't about you being happy only. And you can't expect everyday to be bright and sunny, it has to rain. However, the sunlight is brighter after the darkness of a storm. You can't wait for happiness to come to you, one must fight for it. Happiness exists in many different forms. Something simple, like seeing it rain, can make one happy too. You don't have to strike lottery or pick up ten bucks to be happy. (though that will make me very very happy ^^) Or else, everyone would be wallowing in misery now...

Whoa! I actually wrote an optimistic post...that's a surprise...

Labels: musings

I'm trying to empty myself of all emotions. I don't understand it myself, so don't ask.(laughs) I just got a verbal lashing from my mother and brother each. How come I'm still so calm? I should have blown up by now... Maybe it's all the tea I drank for breakfast...(6 cups)but whatever, I don't know.

I really have to start doing my other homework now... I still have Art, History, English and Chinese left.... I'm such a failure T__T.... Haizzz.... this is no longer called a holiday... and my teacher actually calls there piles of homework "homejoy"... yeah right... probably homisuicidical... is there such a word? (laughs) I guess not... My white hair are increasing although I barely reached my teens... still have a month to my birthday... minutes are ticking away, my life is ebbing away... so what else is new? That, I don't know...

What does it feels to be dead?

Sure, I know you either get cremated or buried, but that's just your body... what about your soul? What happens to it? Does it goes to heaven? Get reborn in a new body? Travels down to burn endlessly in a firey chasm for eternity? Wanders around earth all alone? Is death scary? Why are people afraid of dying?

I'm not scared of death, in fact, I'm curious. If life can be like a game, in which you can easily save or load, I'll try to find out what exactly is death.

Do you think life is a game to certain people? I mean, could we be pawns in a game? Or dolls manipulated in a giant dollhouse called Earth?

Do we really make our own decisions, or is there someone controlling us? How do you know whether you're truly alive? Is this all reality, or just a dream? Are we all decived by illusions?

Is there really a God in this world? Did Jesus Christ really rise from the dead? Did he even die in the first place?

Is there even answers to all my questions? Aagh! All these are giving me headaches...

Maybe I should just live my life out in ignorance, like many others... who have sunk deep down in the rabbit's fur, and had the wool pullen over their eyes...

Labels: musings